Gutted

You know those times in life when you wish you could go back and change your decisions?  Yeah, I guess that’s the plotline for many popular shows and movies, maybe you’ve heard of Back to the Future, Dr. Who, or Frequency?

I feel gutted. As they are demolishing the walls, down to the studs and digging trenches outside to underpin and reinforce the foundation, I’m in a state of disbelief that we’ve finally come to a place where we’re going to be DONE with this construction-solar-panel- nightmare-from-hell.  It’s been over a year and half of back and forth with LA County about whether or not we have to move that east wall 2 feet.  We lost, they won.  Our complaint with the Contractor State License Board (CSLB) that we filed against Zero Energy (the solar panel company) resulted in no compensation, just an agreement that if the county requires us to remove the panels at any point during the construction process, Zero Energy will remove and remount them at no cost. (How generous <<sarcasm>>.)

I’ve had to accept that no matter how angry I get about this, it’s really our fault.  We shouldn’t have ever done unpermitted work on the house in the first place.  We were young and naive when we originally did the garage conversion, and at that point, we wouldn’t have had enough equity to get it permitted to code, so now we’re paying for it.  I just wish Zero Energy had said, “Uh no, we don’t put panels on unpermitted structures.”  Then we would have had to consider other options and we wouldn’t have spent the $59,000 with the HERO Program having Zero Energy do the work.  So again, related to our claims against Zero Energy, they won, we lost.  The only silver lining is that through some internet investigating, I contacted a reporter from San Diego who wrote a report about a class action lawsuit that’s been filed against the HERO Program.  As a result of his referral to an attorney, we are now a part of a lawsuit against the HERO Program. The attorney is in NYC.  We may only get $5 once that case settles, but hey, I feel like this gutted feeling is finally coming to an end.  I’ve done absolutely everything I can think of to remedy, solve and plead with the powers-that-be, and I lost.

Pause and listen to Silver Lining (I think I’ve posted this before but I still love this song!) & other songs by First Aid Kit.  Their harmonies are mesmerizing.  I love the phrase, “Gotta keep on, keepin’ on.”  That’s what I’ve had to do this year.

Sometimes we lose.  What do we do with that?  Everything has a purpose.  Sometimes we don’t know what that purpose is.  Some days we don’t figure it out.  However, I believe that this debacle has taught me to have more patience and perseverance than I thought I could muster.  If you know me, you know I HATE phone calls.  I’ve had to make so many, more than I can count right now, telling and retelling our pathetic sob story.  I can’t imagine suing people for a living.  It’s exhausting and it feels icky.  I don’t like it when things are unresolved.  This has been over a year of un-resolution.  Year of Un-Resolution.  I think we all encounter years like this.  Years that we might like to erase or restart.  Finally, I feel a resolution is coming.  The light at the end of the tunnel… is coming.

Day 2

Day 3

Day 4

I wrote that first $5,000 check today, one of eight over the next 8 weeks.  The new inspector should be here next week to let them proceed.  If all goes as planned (which it rarely does, I’m under no illusions here, we’re dealing with the LA Department of BS) we should finish by the end of June. The goal, for me, is to be done by the end of July so I can get the house in order before school starts again in August.  I think this a reasonable timeline.  I think.

Until next Friday.  Love you loves.


Gastric Bypass Update:

I realized I’m terribly undisciplined about keeping track of grams of protein and amounts of food I eat.  I find it very confining and challenging amidst all the other responsibilities I have.  So, this week I’ve tried to do a mental tally at the end of the day of my protein intake.  I’m only getting between 30-40 grams.  I need 60-80 grams. The plan is to add a scoop of protein powder every day.  This should make up the deficit. Why so much protein?  It makes you more full so you don’t feel the need to eat as frequently, and if you don’t have enough protein your body will start pulling from your muscle mass called muscle wasting. (Now, we don’t want that, do we?  Sounds cannibalistic.  Ew.)

 

 

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