*I’ve posted my “before” photo below.
One of my mantras, when making decisions that require time commitment and discipline, is, “The time will pass no matter what you do with it.” If I hadn’t had gastric bypass, this year would have passed, and I would have probably lost and gained the same 10 pounds throughout the year. This year was different. March 23, 2016, was a game changer for me. I faced my fears and embarked on an adventure that has brought many highs and lows, but mostly highs.
Many things have changed, and as a result, I have a stronger resolve that I can do hard things and not only survive but thrive.
Life still has many challenges and (dammit!) my leaner body didn’t solve all those problems. (Surprise!) I was under no delusions when I began this adventure. I knew that being thinner wouldn’t magically make everything better. I still have to deal with negative emotions in a different way. I have literally walked my ass off. (Smile.)
Speaking of life’s challenges, simultaneous to my surgery and the following events, we have been fighting with the LA County Department of BS. (I love to call it that because it makes me feel better for, like, 1 second. Building and Safety= BS.) Just this week, we found out that the entire back of our house will be under construction for 3 months and we have to move everything out of our room and the music studio and move into Boy’s room, the living room, and a storage Pod. (Yeah, guess what we get to do over spring break. Gah!) The most devastating news, our construction costs may run up to $70,000. Not kidding. We’ve already spent $59,000 on the solar panels, roofing, and energy efficient work that Zero Energy completed without permitting. (I’m laying this out there because I want to all to learn from my mistake. Please don’t be hasty like I was.) I thought I was doing a good thing, getting solar panels and making our house more energy efficient. Nope. This has been one of the most stressful experiences of my life, (and I’ve had a few other stressful times.) That said, I have to find the silver lining. I have to. We will all have trouble, but we have to “dust the dust up off our shoulders, feet on ground, we’ll come round, and be human again.”
Have a listen. I’ve been listening to this band on repeat since I heard them on KCRW. I listened to this performance and was captivated and encouraged.
“Human”
I know that it’s been rough,
It shows in your reflection,
You’ve fallen out of touch,
Got lost along the way,
I know it’s not enough,
But these things they all get better,
And even if its tough,
This is us, you know it on the inside,
This is us, so you should show it on the outside,
This is us, dust the dust up off your shoulders,
Feet on ground, you’ll come round,
And be human again.
I know that its been hard,
But even when its hurting,
You’re gonna have to start,
To learn to recognise,
That even in the dark,
There’s lines between the spaces,
Hiding where you are,
This is us, you know it on the inside,
This is us, so you should show it on the outside,
This is us, dust the dust up off your shoulders,
Feet on ground, you’ll come round,
And be human again.
I’ll be there when you need me most
I’ll be there if you’re ever alone
Together, we can grow old.
I can’t leave you
I can’t leave you,
No.
Thank you for being there for me during this first year post surgery.
I’m grateful.
I’ve sustained the 90 pound weight loss for several weeks now.
Here’s my “before” photo:
I’m back to my 3 year old self. If you were hoping for a photo from last year, well, I’m not posting those, not because I’m ashamed. My reasoning is that, I liked myself in March of 2016 and I don’t want to criticize who I was last year. I’m kinda done comparing. I’m focusing on living.
Until next Friday…Love you loves.
Why You Keep Judging Me? 