Them’s Fightin’ Words

The gift that we received in the mail this week was a mortgage loan statement with $1100 added onto our current payment.  For the next 12 months, we will now have to pay an extra $1100 in escrow fees (taxes and insurance).  I spent part of the morning on the phone today trying to figure out if this is a one-time or ongoing payment and to my dismay, it’s going to be for the next year.  I realized after my impatience with the loan representative ‘helpful’ barrage of figures and payment scenarios, that she is really not the person that will understand WHY I have to pay more in property taxes and insurance.  (Right about now, I think I’d rather have my wisdom teeth pulled.  Side story: At my last dentist appointment I asked the hygienist about my wisdom teeth and she said, “You don’t have wisdom teeth.” Me: “Well, I’ve never had them pulled.” Hygienist: “Well it looks like yours didn’t grow in.”   So for me, it’s easy to say, “I’d rather have my wisdom teeth pulled.”  I never had any.  Weird, right? I’m an anomaly.  But we already knew that.  Or maybe I’m not wise, because I didn’t grow wisdom teeth.)  

Now back to the horrid $1100 add-on to our mortgage via escrow fees.  I need someone to help me figure it out. I’m a creative-type.  I really don’t love calling and figuring out all this hullabaloo related to fees and whatnot.  It’s BORING.  (I’d rather clip my toenails, or vacuum chuff off the border of my carpet than call all these places to figure out why I have to pay $1100 more next month.  I’d rather clean up cat barf, or eat my weight in beets before I’d like to make the necessary phone calls to really understand this.)  What is it?  What is it that’s making me so incensed? It’s the fact that I don’t know the right questions to ask. See, I like to be prepared.  I like to know the vocabulary and understand the process and I don’t understand how property taxes and escrow really work. I don’t understand who controls this money and where it is.  It’s like the internet (How does it really work?) or the cloud (Where does is all our information really stored?). It’s an illusion to me, an illusion I’m completely dependent on for survival and record keeping.  So, my fallback, my go-to, my contingency plan, is what I like to call—speak-louder-than-the-person-on-the- other-end-of-the-line. Show them who’s boss, with your volume. Has this worked for me in the past?  Well, sometimes.

In any conflict, it’s helpful if you can figure out who the bad guy is, the villain, the antagonist.  So far, the solar company, Zero Energy, has definitely been the villain in this story. However, now there are so many other characters with competing storylines, that the plot is getting muddled.  Here’s what I don’t understand:  Why are our property taxes increasing on our home, when the part of our home in question has not been officially approved as living space? Technically, the county doesn’t view this as living space until they approve it.  See, we haven’t even started construction on the part of the house that houses the solar panels.  Yet, now our property taxes have increased?  I didn’t think all this would play out until we’d completed the construction and the county approved renovations as being ‘up to code’.  That’s when I thought all the fees would kick in.  How can we be charged fees for property taxes on living space that hasn’t been adequately permitted? (Is your head spinning yet?  Don’t you just LOVE thinking about this.  Oh my frickin’ gosh.  As my teenager says 12 times a day.)  But yes, all I can do right now is shake my head, suck it up, and make these mother-lovin’ phone calls.  Because if there’s one character trait I have, it’s grit.  Them’s fightin’ words, Zero Energy.  When you mess with the 40-something mini-van drivin’ mama you best be prepared for some naggin’. That’s what you’re gettin’.

I’m not going to give up, Zero Energy. I dedicate this song to you.  I think this should be your theme song, Zero Energy.  Just sayin’


I’m nothing but a low life
Thinking about my own life
I can’t help myself from falling
Can’t help myself from falling
I’m nothing but a low life
Thinking about my own life
I’m trying to fight the good own fight
But after it all, I’m still just a low life
Wanna be a better man, but it’s a hard life
Without that love inside you, it’s a cown bind
But, I started to reflect on all that’s been before
Started to wonder, but, but you can’t be sure
Now please tell me I’m broke
It’s much easier that way, ’cause I just let you down
It’s much easier that way
I’m nothing but a low life (low life)
Thinking ’bout my own life (own life)
I can’t help myself from falling
Can’t help myself from falling
I’m nothing but a low life (low life)
Thinking ’bout
I’ll leave you with this. We reference honey badger in our home, because we’re weirdos.   I’m trying to be like honey badger, honey badger’s got fearless grit.
Honey badger don’t care.
Disclaimer:  adult content.



Until next Friday.  Love you loves.

Gastric Bypass Update:

Hangin’ in with the same routine.  I’m trying to remember to take my vitamin regimen.  Taking the calcium 2-4 hours apart from the multivitamin is tricky.  I have to take a multivitamin 4 times a day to ensure that I get the proper distribution of nutrients daily.  I STILL haven’t gone in to get my blood work done, because I have to fast for 12-14 hours before the visit.  So. Many. Things.  I have it on my to-do list for 2 weeks from now.  I’m writing it here, so I actually do it.  I should probably make sure my blood work is in the healthy range.

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