Bring it, 2016-17!

What?  Skunk face?  Yeah, I just daydreamed, while watering my garden in the dark, (because I can’t remember things until my kids go to bed) that a skunk came cruisin’ by, minding his own business and I startled him.  I got skunked.  I panicked (remember, this is a daydream/nightmare) and realized I’d have to go to my first day of school smelling like a skunk.  Ugh.  I borrow trouble in my head.  Does anyone else do this?  Gosh, I daydream about ridiculous scenarios that will never happen.  In the skunk episode, I then proceeded to picture myself in the bathtub all weekend soaking in tomato juice.  (Oh brother, gimme a break Joy, don’t you have better things to think about? This is my sick way of procrastinating.  I have so much to do, that the alternative of sitting in a bath of tomato juice sounds appealing.  You can say it, I’ve got prollems.) (Misspelling intentional.)

<<<insert eye twitch emoji here>>> (Oh that’s right, there is no eye twitch emoji.  What? Get with the program emoji-making-people and make me an eye twitch emoji.  I’ve been asking for years now.  It would complete my frequently-used emoji package.)

These things have been on my Home To Do List all summer and are completely unfinished: selling the pop up camper (Anyone want one? This is a shameless advertisement because I really need to check this off my To Do list), decluttering my bedroom so I can easily pack it up when the time comes, renting a storage pod at over $200 a month (because I’ve got money growing out of my ears, right?) so we can store all the stuff in our bedroom while our room is remodeled, remodeling our bedroom right at the beginning of the school year! YAY! (This is what I’ve always wanted. We couldn’t do it earlier until we heard back from the County, which was last week.)

Next, contractor estimates and figuring out where the money is going to come from and how much it’s going to cost to do the cross beams in our bedroom and studio ceilings, add 4 windows, add a hallway, move the exterior wall in two feet (yeah, an epic battle with the County will soon be lost, Guiles-0/County-1), and build a carport that we’re going to call ‘Glorified Shade’, because we’re never going to park a car in it.  But, that doesn’t matter to the County.  Sounds like cha-ching to me… how about you?

Oh yeah, and I signed up to pilot a new language arts curriculum, yes, because I’m dumb. Really, it’s about control.  I like to be involved in the decision making side of choosing a curriculum that we’re going to have for the next 10 years.  I’m pragmatic and just want to have a curriculum to follow instead of making up my own as I’ve done for the past 5 years.  It’s always nice and helpful to have a teacher’s edition when you’re teaching 25 kids every day.  A plan does help.

I see a ton of training in my future because we’re a computer magnet school and this requires a bit of a learning curve to teach students how to code. I’m excited about this for sure, but apprehensive about fitting everything in. Oh yeah, and make time for lesson planning for math, science, social studies, art and P.E. while you’re at it.  No biggie.

Managing the schedules of a high schooler, middle schooler, and elementary schooler, how did this happen?

Paying bills, oh the bills (echo…bills, bills, bills….)

And I desperately need to go have my van washed.  I’m waiting for the new gas station car wash on Arrow Hwy. in San Dimas to open so I can get my van washed in a drive-thru.  It may be a few more months.  I’m going to blame my awfully dirty van on the water shortage.  (I’m doin’ my part.)

And there’s this piece of what looks like gum, on the bottom frame of the door as you walk into the front door. Not even kidding. Who did this?  It’s a futile question because everyone will say, “I didn’t do it!”  So, I will deal with it.  But really? Who did it and what is it, and am I the only one who notices it?  (I should have been a detective as a profession.)

Cob webs on the porch! Gah!  I’ll get to that in 2 years.

Oh, and dinner.  They always want to know, “What’s for dinner?”  I. Don’t. Know. Little. People.  I. Don’t. Know.

Don’t forget to be a good friend, Joy! Most of the year I am. This is what genuinely care about deeply and is one of the most important things to me,  lovin’ on all y’all. But I get so busy I can’t see through the fog of my To Do list.  Well, most of the time I still try to connect the best I can, and instead, I just get less sleep.

Four, yes, FOUR Back-to-School nights over the next couple of weeks.

Maybe I should just stop this post now and go catch up on watching mindless episodes of The Walking Dead (See what I did there? Mindless, heh, heh).

I tell myself,  “You’ll get through this Joy, you always do.  You’ve been doing this teaching thing for 19 years, for goodness sakes.”  It never lets up though. Teachers, can I get an Amen?  There’s always something different every school year.  You make the best of it.  What other choice do you have?

Dinner.  Joy, your kids are NOT going to be the models of healthy eating. Accept it. Ramen, yes. Macaroni, yes.  Occasionally, you’ll whip out the salmon and the taco love. All the other days, fend for yourselves darlin’s.  You’ve watched endless episodes of Chopped, get to work with what’s in the fridge kids!  Show me you’ve learned somethin’ from all that TV watchin’!  C’mon.

I’m tellin’ ya, if one more kid walks in my room sayin’ “MOM!” when I’m in the middle of writing something on my To Do list, I might just shit bricks.  <<<insert shit bricks Bitmoji here>>>  (Oh, once again, disappointed. There is no Bitmoji like this. Your lettin’ me down Bitmoji folks, lettin’ me down.) Seriously. Does this bother anyone else?  I can’t finish my thoughts. “Mom!” “Mom!” “Mom!”  Someday (in 10 years) I’ll be really sad that the kids aren’t rushing in to share and talk to me, but right now, I NEED you to step up outta my grill, yo, (at least until school starts).  The alternative most nights is, staying up uber late (because I’m not a morning person) to finish writing down my thoughts.  If I try to go to bed before said thoughts are written down, I’ll lay in my bed repeating the list over and over again, obsessively, so I don’t forget.  So, I might as well just stay up until my barfy thoughts are all written down.  My brain does feel a little like a vomit-fest.  (Remember that scene from Stand By Me? The one where one person vomits at the pie-eating contest and the whole audience starts to vomit in succession.  That’s my brain. That’s me.  Every. Single. Day. Two. Weeks. Before. School. Starts.)

So, there ya go.  Let the Rat Race begin!  I’m ready for ya 2016-17.  Bring it. (You all feel better now, right?  You are not alone.  There’s always a neurotic friend who’s much worse than you. That’s me!)  Tell me what you’re anxious about.  We can do this friends!

Until next Friday.  Love you loves.

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