Five stab wounds later, my stomach is now the size of an egg. That’s a horrible way to describe it, Joy. Well, that’s what my upper belly looks like. Each incision is about the size of the width of a pink eraser (shout out to my teacher friends).
I was hoping to just stay over night on March 23, but I ended up staying one night longer, until Friday, March 25.
I wasn’t able to keep the liquids down. When I was given watered down apple juice on the 23rd, I couldn’t tolerate it, and proceeded to throw it up. I ‘ate’ ice and water for 48 hours. I am 5 pounds less. That’s it? Yes, I thought it would be more too.
Food smells so good. I just want to eat. Even though I don’t feel hungry, I’m dealing with the thoughts of food, the textures of food, the joy of it. I’m just gonna say it, in case it wasn’t obvious enough, I love to eat. Cheetos, nachos, french fries, any kind of junk food, I’ll eat it. I also love to cook and I’m pretty darn good at it. Soups, hash, paninis, pastas, any recipe on Allrecipes.com, give it to me, I’ll try it. I’m no chef, but I can make food people will eat, and those peoples happen to be my husband, boy, middle, little and our neighbor who is always here. I cook for a family of 6, and I love it (most nights). Food is sustenance. It’s gotten a bad wrap. Food isn’t bad. It’s how we eat it and use it to mask other things that creates unhealthy events and strain in our lives.
I’m not going to stop eating. I’m just relearning HOW to eat. I’ll tell ya, after 2 days of ice, I’m looking forward to protein shakes and jello (not so affectionately called HELL-o in my house now). So now I must drink 4 oz. of liquid every hour I’m awake, so I made it more fun using these 1 oz jello shot cups. (I can pretend.) I’ll be in Phase 2 for two weeks. See details on the left.
The nurses and assistants were so good to me at Huntington Memorial Hospital and Dr. Lamar and his team of assistants were thorough and kind. I told Dr. Lamar, “Thanks for not letting me die.” That was my biggest and most vulnerable feeling going into surgery,
Dying. I think God must want me to stick around a little longer. Hopefully a lot longer.