“I believe our most sacred moments are often our most human moments,” Sarah Bessey, author of Out of Sorts.
I am under no grand illusions that losing weight will make me happy. I know I’ll still overthink situations and replay & rehearse them in my head. I know I’ll still feel awkward in a room full of people that I don’t know well. I know I’ll still wonder why so many people can be so hateful. I know I’ll still feel loss. I know I’ll still get angry and impatient with my kids.
On the flip side, it’s amazing being alive and loving wholeheartedly. Seeing the blue paint on the doorframe reminds me that I have two girls who, on a whim, decided that the swing set needed a new coat of blue paint. Hearing Boy play his guitar riffs over and over gives me joy that he’s learning the discipline of a new art form. Messy rooms and stray socks in every corner of the house remind me that I’m not in this house alone. Middle’s hamster smells like corn chips (Don’t ask me why. Give me a break, I’m hungry) and I just wish everything could be more tidy. There are so many things to be thankful for, although at times I just want to scream and tell everyone just STOP ARGUING & SHUT UP, (as it’s actually happening right now.) The arguing never ceases with 3 kids. But I know they’re learning to negotiate the massive world by beginning in this safe place called home. There will be a day, I’m told, when the kids grow up. “They grow up so fast.” You’ve heard this as many times as I have. In meantime, I’m going to cherish them and find the sacred amidst the mess.
Speaking of mess, I just helped clean up the girls’ first independent chocolate chip cooking making experience. They said they read the directions, but they just read the ingredients, not the words that explain how to mix the ingredients. They just threw all the ingredients in and stirred and stirred. Middle said, “Mom, it doesn’t look right. I think we did something wrong.” It didn’t look right, but the cookies were still good, I think (actually I wouldn’t know, they sure smelled good). They’re arguing AGAIN, Boy is involved and it’s now about whether or not the cookies can be eaten. (Oh boy. Give a girl a break, it’s Friday for goodness sakes. Um, yes girls, he can have one… That’s why you made them!)
As I’m thinking about it, I definitely eat to escape the constant struggle. I like to crawl in my cave and have a bite (as the British say).
Just now Boy comes in as I’m writing this post, “The cookies didn’t turn out very well (as he comes in to grab a different non-chocolate chip cookie snack). The girls don’t like them. (He forgot to mention that he doesn’t either.) That’s the way the cookie crumbles. Get it mom?”
Yes, I get it.
I’m livin’ a whole lotta human moments here on Baseline. How about you?