Cold Turkey Countdown Day 13

Cold-Turkey-No-Chew-Diet-from-Hell, is what this pre-op diet should be called.  I like to chew my food more than I thought. There was very little chewing allowed, except for the popsicles.  I gave up starving myself long ago. Today totally felt like I was going back in time to my high school and college days of self deprivation.   Living with plenty is my way preferred way of living.  Some might say eating in plenty is gluttonous, and yes, sometimes it is.  However, the days of poring over a journal of calories and such is just…exhausting and drains the life right out of me.  Gastric bypass is the only way, for me.  I must have a near immediate consequence for eating this way.  Anticipating an outcome is all that is motivating me at this point.  Knowing there is an end in sight is all that challenges me to continue this cold turkey way of eating.

Today’s menu, if it can be called that: 2 commercial protein shakes (I use Pure Protein), Vitamin Water, Bai Cocofusion water, 2-8oz cups of chicken broth, 8oz cup of decaf tea, 2 sugar free popsicles, and sugar free jello.  Ugh.  So boring.  You may have noticed there are no real proteins, fruits, or vegetables allowed on Dr. Lamar’s pre-op diet.  I’ll be eating the same way 2 weeks post surgery.  The ONLY reason I’m sticking it out today is, as I’ve read, if you don’t follow this diet, surgery may be cancelled if your liver hasn’t shrunk to an appropriate size.  The liver must decrease in size prior to surgery to allow the surgeon to lift the liver and reach the stomach effectively.  This video is by another bariatric surgeon that explains why the liver must decrease in size.

Feelings check:  I have a terrible headache this evening.  No sugar and no caffeine have made today most unbearable.  I’ve been in and out of the house taking my kids to various activities and running errands. I’m marathon watching episodes of Downton Abbey and avoiding the kitchen.  If I knew I had to be this hungry indefinitely to lose weight and ultimately cure diabetes, I’d give up. I’d much rather be heavy and happy.  My heaven will be eating whatever I want, not gaining weight, and having no consequences as a result of what we eat.  I’m laying it bare here.  Did I say how much I hate diets?  12 days left until my surgery. 12 more days until the BIG DAY. Ba-dum-dum.