Foggy, unattached, surreal, this is how I feel about the surgery. In the midst of all the Christmas preparations, there was a 4th nutrition appointment with Lori and a consultation with Dr. Troy Lamar. When Dr. Lamar asked which surgery I’d like, gastric bypass or gastric sleeve, I said I’d like gastric bypass. He said I am a good candidate & proceeded to tell me how the insurance companies calculate my ideal weight. At 5 feet, 5 inches, my ideal weight is 125 pounds. Then he said I’d realistically be between 140 and 160 pounds when I plateau at my weight loss goal. This is where surreal comes in. When I was in high school, I was starving myself to be thin, and before there were Fitbits, I walked circles in my National City block obsessively, dozens of times a day to burn off all the calories I had consumed that day. Yes, this same frame, once held a meager 109 pounds.
Let’s be clear, I wasn’t healthy, in my head. I was miserable and desperately trying to compete with an imagined and completely unrealistic ideal. Now, 25 years, yes over 25 years later, I can’t believe I’m STILL revisiting this topic of weight loss. I despise it, like cooked spinach as a side dish, or mildewed laundry, or whining children, this topic of weight loss is my nemesis.
Now I’m much healthier, in my head. Years of therapy and deep relationships have helped me get here. The time has come to help my body become healthier. Feelings of ‘cheating the system’, come to mind. I can’t help but feel like I’m taking the easy way out. The ‘if I only’ song plays in my head, if I only had more will power, if I only ate more vegetables, if I only exercised more, if I only resisted the See’s Candy box. Then I remind myself that I HAVE gained and lost pounds at different times over the past 25 years, and with none of these attempts, have I maintained significant long-term success. So, I go full circle back to the research, “Back in 1991, the National Institute of Health, made a consensus statement, they said that basically anybody who as a body mass index that’s greater than 40 or greater than 35 with associated co-morbidities, the only long term solution to their weight problem is surgical intervention” Asok Dorasiwamy, MD, FACS. (See video below.) My BMI is below 40 but I have the co-morbidities of sleep apnea and diabetes which make me an ideal candidate for gastric bypass. Moving forward, I know that for me, there’s more of a likelihood of weight loss success long-term, with gastric bypass, than continuing to simply ‘eat healthier and exercise.’ Continuing to berate myself for lack of willpower in the weight loss department will likely turn out to be another 25 years of unsuccessful weight loss attempts. I’m too healthy and smart to continue down that road. This has become one of my fav phrases to keep it real, when there just ain’t no more time for nonsense. “Ain’t nobody got time for that!” 😉
This picture is exactly how Dr. Lamar looked in the consultation. Here are more details about the differences in weight loss surgeries.